I read this article in the NY Times by Tara Parker-Pope (click here to read) sighting research on "love, sex, and relationships." She makes some interesting points and notes gender differences consistent with John Gottman's findings. John tells a story, referencing Emily Nagoski's book, Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life (click here for reference) , about a man that asked him about when female Viagra will be on the market. John's response was "We already have it, it's called listening." Although, this is a glib over-simplification, it illustrates the point that generally speaking men and women have different erotic pathways; or to roughly quote the comedian, Billy Crystal, "Women need a reason to have sex. Men only need a place.
Happy Holidays, Mike